CONTROL FREAK
Control freak in a simple term refers to a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation.
problems control freaked individuals suffer from include:
1.Increased anxiety
Many control freaks experience constant worry, but rather than controlling their inner turmoil, they insist on trying to the events around them. This approach backfires since they can't control everything all the time and ultimately, they end up causing themselves just to feel even more Anxious
2. Troubled relationship
If you've ever worked for a boss who micromanaged everything you did or you had a parent who was a control freak, you'll know firsthand how difficult it is to be around a control freak. Trying to control other people damages relationships and is the root of much dysfunction.
3. Wasted time and energy
Control freaks waste their finite resources (like time and energy) on things they can't control. It drains their mental strength and makes them less productive.
Control freaks rarely know that they are one. They believe that they are
helping people with their "constructive
criticism" or taking over a project because "no one else will do it
right." They don't see their controlling behaviors as symptoms of what's really
going on--their own anxiety has run amuck.
Irrational thoughts abound in our high stress world: If I don't get this contract, I'll get fired.
If I'm not home by 6:00, I'm a terrible parent. If I don't get that raise, I suck
at my job. All of these thoughts might be true, but probably
not.
Rather than tackle our own irrational thinking and massage it into more
realistic thinking, we attempt to control the situation,
usually by trying to control other people.
Want to know if you're
a control freak? Here are eight signs for your self-diagnosing pleasure.
1. You believe that if someone
would change one or two things about themselves, you'd be happier. So you try to "help
them" change this behavior by pointing it out, usually over and over.
2. You micromanage others to
make them fit your (often unrealistic) expectations. You don't believe in imperfection and you
don't think anyone else should either.
3. You judge others' behavior
as right or wrong and passive-aggressively withhold attention until they fall in line with
your expectations. Sitting in silent judgment is a master form of control.
4. You offer
"constructive criticism" as a veiled attempt to advance your own
agenda.
You believe that if you can
change another person's undesirable behavior, then you will be happier or more fulfilled. You make
someone else responsible for how you feel. The thing is, you are only
responsible for you. The road to better relationships always starts
with you. Rather than attempt to
control everyone else, work on becoming a better version of yourself. Here are
a few ideas:
1. Be vulnerable with people
2. Never compromise your self- respect by altering your core beliefs
3. Be realistic about your
expectations of others
4. Quit the passive-aggressive
nonsense--be direct
5. Accept that a large portion
of life is laced with unknowns
6. Embrace confrontation--it
really is sometimes the only thing you can do
7. Take responsibility for
your own happiness
If you work on your own
improvement instead of trying to control others, healthier relationships at
work, as well as everywhere
else, will then come to you as a result.
By: Divine James
Credit: Inc.com
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