How to Stop Intrusive Thoughts from Controlling Your Life

 Intrusive thoughts rush to the center of your attention and then stay there. They demand your focus and insist that you obsess over them. Anyone who’s ever experienced repeated intrusive thoughts may feel as though their life has been taken over.

This would be fantastic if intrusive thoughts were about unicorns, rainbows or that happy feeling you get when listening to your favorite song. However, intrusive thoughts are almost always unwanted. Sometimes they are related to a deep pain you’ve experienced in your life. Other times, they are completely off the wall and incredibly disturbing.

There are many types of intrusive thoughts, and disturbing really only begins to describe some of them. They could be;

Sexual: Thinking about committing a violent sex act such as rape or sexually abusing a child. Sex with inappropriate people or things: family members, coworkers, your brother’s fiancé

Relationship: Obsessive doubts over whether your relationship will work, constant analysis of your own feelings or your partner’s feelings for you. Obsessively thinking your partner is cheating on you or being unfaithful.

Violent: Obsessively fearing that you will commit a violent act against a loved one or stranger,thoughts about killing an innocent person, intentionally or unintentionally. By Seeing a kitchen knife or other sharp object and spiraling down a violent scenario.

Everybody, at some point in their life, has experienced intrusive thoughts. Some are better than others at managing them. It absolutely does not mean you are a bad person. Your brain’s job is to think. All day, every day, it spits random thoughts from within your mind. Just because you think about something, doesn’t mean you have to associate with that thought.

Your actions and your behaviors make up the person you are. Not your thoughts. It’s easy to see why one might think intrusive thoughts might make you a bad person. After all, most intrusive thoughts are negative or obsessive-compulsive by nature.

But, know that they are perfectly normal. They are just thoughts and do not reflect on you as a person, so long as you don’t act on them inappropriately. There are actually ways for you to manage these intrusive thoughts in such a way that they no longer affect your life.

 

How to Stop Intrusive Thoughts 

 Learn to recognize and become aware when you experience an intrusive thought: I’ve been practicing meditation for several years now. It was initially my reprieve from anxiety and stress, but as I’ve continued, meditation and the mindfulness it offers has had some profound benefits in many aspects of my life.

Dealing with intrusive thoughts is one of them. Mindfulness gives you that extra moment or two of clarity before acting on your thoughts. Basically, when you have an intrusive thought, you have the ability to stop, recognize it’s just a stupid thought, and then dismiss it as nothing more.

Learn to accept them: You’ve likely tried many times in the past to get rid of your intrusive thoughts, but I’d be willing to bet that hasn’t worked so far. As mentioned earlier, intrusive thoughts are normal and they’re going to happen. The best course of action after recognizing an intrusive thought is to accept it for what it is.

Let it pass by: When an intrusive thought happens it can be extremely easily to get caught up in it. For example, let’s say you and your girlfriend are sitting at home, watching your favorite TV show on Netflix. Her phone buzzes. She glances over, picks it up, laughs, and then replies back to whoever it was.

Your mind immediately starts thinking she’s talking to another lover. You spiral down that deep, dark path, and it begins eating away at your happiness and otherwise healthy relationship.

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