5 Reasons You May Be Getting Ignored At Work

The "Cold Shoulder" Technique Is Not New
Ignoring people is not a new phenomenon. It's been used for years as a way to:
A) eliminate the need to talk with someone who doesn't add perceived value to the conversation.
B) avoid talking with someone who makes conversation awkward, uncomfortable, or depressing.
This is especially true at work. People spend eight hours or more at the office. That's one-third of a day. It shouldn't surprise us people will gravitate towards conversing with coworkers they feel more comfortable and positive talking to, while avoiding the ones that make them feel bad or frustrated. Work is already hard enough!
I don't condone the cold shoulder technique. I also know there's only so much a company can do to eliminate it from the workplace.
Are You Guilty Of The Following?
While I strongly encourage all professionals to research corporate cultures to find the right employer as a way to minimize the chance they won't get along with coworkers, that doesn't always solve the problem. All the team building in the world won't help you stop getting ignored if you aren't self-aware to how you contribute to the situation. Even companies with incredible work environments focused on diversity and inclusion experience coworkers getting ignored. If you've found yourself in more than two work environments where you ended up feeling ostracized, you may want to reflect on the following and see if you might be guilty of behavior that induces the cold shoulder treatment. They're as follows:
1) You Talk Too Much - If people constantly refer to you as " super chatty," or "a real talker," then you may fall into this category. While bonding with office mates is important to developing good working relationships, people need to be productive. If you've notice after a few interactions people are starting to avoid you, it's time to focus on keeping your converstations on point.
TIP: Whenever you start a conversation with a co-worker, casually glance at your watch and make note of the time. You should try to keep your discussions under two minutes, with the focus being on the task you are discussing. Now is not the time to go off-topic, or to discuss random what-if scenarios. Those should be saved for formal brainstorming meetings. When it comes to day-to-day interactions. Short, sweet and upbeat should be your motto.
2) You're A Total Downer - If there's a lot going on in your life right now, most of which is not good, it's possible you are bringing it to the office and making teammates uncomfortable. Check to see if your comments are overly negative. Do you assume the worst? Do you find yourself complaining more than complimenting? Are your body language and facial expressions telling the entire office life is bad? Do you let out defeated sighs regularly? If so, you need to practice checking your outside life at the office door.
TIP: Flip your watch, ring, or some other piece of jewelry you wear regularly to the other arm or hand. Then, throughout the day, as you become aware it's in a different location remind yourself to smile and be grateful for at least one good thing in your life. Training yourself to think more positively at work can make you a bit more mindful of your emotions and help you to adjust your attitude so co-workers feel comfortable connecting with you.
NOTE: If you're experiencing depression or grief, please seek counseling or support to help you. Long-term negativity and reclusive behavior at work can lead to poor performance reviews and even termination of employment for at-will employers.
3) You Brag/Monopolize the Conversation - The opposite of your life being in a slump is you loving your life to the point of wanting to tell the world. It's great to be optimistic, but when you can't stop sharing with your co-workers how awesome your life is, they'll make you stop by avoiding you. Are you always trying to one-up a co-worker's story? Do you love to come in and tell everyone about your new purchases, amazing parties you went to, and other things that make your life better than average? Do you feel compelled to tell people about every little success you experience in your job? Have you been referred to as "very confident" or even "cocky" at work? It so, it could be why people feel compelled to avoid eye contact for fear you'll take that as an opportunity to corner them.
TIP: Ask, don't tell. Focus on asking your co-workers about their lives instead of telling them about your own. Let people have a turn to share their experiences. Then, bite your tongue! When you stop focusing in yourself and start focusing on others, you'll find them more open to interacting with you.
4) You Don't Talk At All (And Have No Facial Expression Either) - Some people are so shy at work, they barely speak. You might think that would make you easy to talk to, but it doesn't. Not talking feels very uncomfortable to your more talkative coworkers. Eventually, they stop trying and feel it's easier to avoid you then to attempt to pull the words out of you.
TIP: Make an effort to connect once a week with teammates on a non-work topic. Try to find a common hobby or subject you feel comfortable talking about. Then, proactively reach out to each coworker and strike up a conversation on the topic. It doesn't have to be long, but the outward gesture to connect will help the coworker to get to know you better. Over time, you'll find it easier to chat with each other due to the commonality conversations.
NOTE: An increasing number of professionals are getting diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a high-functioning form or autism that can make them struggle to connect in the workplace. Individuals with this need special support to help them manage the expectations of employers and coworkers.
5) You Always Put Yourself Down - Do you always point out your flaws to teammates before they can? Are you quick to tell people how you come up short? If so, you might think it makes you appear more real and accessible, but in reality, it's seen as a needy cry for attention - and results in co-=workers scattering at the sight of you. A lack of confidence is one thing, but constant public self-deprecation gets annoying.
TIP: If you can't say anything nice about yourself, don't say anything at all. People don't need to hear about your short-comings. Do your work and focus on your strengths. If you don't feel you have any, then invest is some skill development programs focused on confidence-building. Coworkers respect and want to collaborate with people who know their worth and don't doubt their ability to contribute.
Wait?! What About Evil Offices?
The one situation I haven't covered above is the pure evil office. These are highly dysfunctional workplaces where employees live in fear and anxiety. This type of corporate culture breeds competitiveness, back-stabbing and mind games. Ignoring people is one of those games that gets played in a terrible work environment.. If you work for one of these companies my advice is to start looking for a new job A.S.A.P. You won't be able to change the culture, so why stay and take the physical and mental abuse of getting ignored? Look out for yourself and seek an environment that is positive and productive. Then, focus on being the kind of person that doesn't get the cold shoulder treatment and you'll find your relationships with coworkers will be solid. 







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