HOW TO LEAVE A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP

I understand walking away from someone you truly love can seem impossible or disheartening but as much as you will feel shattered, you just have to walk from people that treats you bad, people that make you feel less of yourself. No matter what they say to you to make you stay or what you still feel for them, you just have to walk away the minute you realize they are messing up with your sanity. Trust me I have been there and I totally understand how ut feels to let go I understand walking away from someone you truly love can seem impossible or disheartening but as much as you will feel shattered, you just have to walk from people that treat you bad, people that make you feel less of yourself. No matter what they say to you to make you stay or what you still feel for them, you just have to walk away the minute you realize they are messing up with your sanity. Trust me I have been there and I totally understand how it feels to let go of someone you truly care about, I had to force myself to accept that my relationship with my ex wasn't meant to be. Physician Kristen Fuller once said "Loving yourself is the most important step in a relationship and recognizing when to leave a relationship is the second, relationships can consume a vast amount of our mental and emotional space and when they go wrong, they can cause immeasurable pain". He'd woo other ladies in my presence and say he thought I wanted him to do that (I know it sounds crazy and stupid), he would always blame me for his infidelity and so many other disrespectful act, all I wanted was for him to stop hurting me though he cares about me, he was always looking out for my success, he was always there to motivate me to become a better person, to do something meaningful with my life but then I asked myself, is he really worth losing my sanity for? Do I have to continue with someone who disrespect me publicly all the time and act like it never happened? No, he wasn't and I knew I had to get him out of my life, I must tell you it was a hard decision to take because at the time the break up was about to happen, I was already feeling attached to him but I had to tell myself the truth that no matter what I do, it didn't really matter how much I loved him, it didn't matter if I was the best woman or friend in the universe, nothing would have worked. If you are stuck in a toxic relationship, know that you can find strength to get yourself out of it and move on. These tips can also be of help:

 1. REALIZE THAT YOU DESERVE BETTER: Sometimes, loving someone just isn't enough, if you are not receiving the same love in return. The time you waste on the wrong person prevents the right person from coming your way, how can they even come into your life if you already have the space filled? It actually took me a long time to realize this. You may not even know who they are or when they will come but they are waiting for you to let go, so that they can come into your life. 

 2. STOP WAITING FOR YOUR PARTNER TO CHANGE: This is the biggest mistake a person can make when deciding to stay in a relationship in which you are being mistreated. You have to accept that the only person you control in this world is yourself, unless the other person owns up to their mistakes and shows the desire to get help, they probably won't change. You just have to understand that change comes from within, it can't be forced. Only then do things have a chance of working themselves out.

 3. ACCEPT THAT IT WILL HURT: There is no easy way of getting around it, it is going to hurt a lot! You may be worried about missing the feeling of being desired and wanted, the intimate and close moments you shared, they become your entire life-you have forgotten how to live for yourself. If you work through the pains instead of trying to avoid it, you limit the chances of your feelings coming back to haunt you.

 4. USE CRYING AS A CURE: The best thing you can do for yourself is to release the pain, don't hold it in. Sometimes, we are expected to be strong when we are expected to be strong when we are dealing with tough situations, I have personally found that to be ineffective. The more I tried to hold in my pain and be strong, the worse I felt and I eventually stressed myself out, so all I did to relieve myself from the pain was to cry. In fact I cried like a baby, I am actually a very emotional person, so trust me I cried my eyes out. You don't have to pretend everything is fine; allow the tears to fall freely until you don't have to feel any tears coming again. Instead of trying to be strong, crying can help with the healing process. 

 5. TAKE SOME TIME OFF: Sometimes, it seems like the end of the world, even though it is not, your mind attempts to play tricks on you making you believe that happiness isn't possible any longer, but that isn't true. Often, the best cure for pain is time, all you have to do is rest your soul, mind and heart and give yourself a chance to heal, this is also the best time to get to know "YOU". Focus more on yourself and less on your situation, it doesn't work immediately but over time, it helps a lot. Even though my relationship didn't work out as planned, I realized I could still enjoy my life. 

6. HAPPINESS IS WITHIN YOUR CONTROL: Your life isn't over because you ended a relationship that was messing up with your sanity, you have the power to control your feelings. You can also seek help from friends and family to help you pull through and get back on your feet during the phase of walking away from a toxic relationship. Just imagine yourself being happy again and doing things that you used to love doing, don't worry about the future and get content with the present. Tell yourself you deserve better, I know you can do it and I believe in you, it's now left to you to believe in yourself. By: Ibukunola Awosanya