FAULT-FINDERS

Do you like to point out what’s wrong with people or how stupid people are? Do people bother you easily, to the point where you can’t stop yourself from sharing your judgments? If this describes you, this habit is probably ruining your life. You just might not realize it. A Faultfinder is a person who habitually finds fault, complains, or objects, especially in a petty way. If you constantly point out other people’s problems, you are at serious risk of: Putting a limit on your happiness, creating or perpetuating depression, isolating yourself from your most important relationships, turning people off from wanting to get close to you, creating negative energy around you that generates bad luck. We all have sensitivities that are specific to our upbringing. It’s all comes down to whether you have a system of monitoring how and when you share what bothers you about people. Your pet peeves color the way you see the world. They are part of the central framework you use to interpret other people’s actions. The types of behaviors that get under our skin vary greatly from person to person. Some people can’t help but have a problem with everyone who chews with their mouth open. Other people police the world looking for pedestrians who walk too slowly, or who blast their youtube videos on public transportation, killing the cells in your body with your negativity. Here are some reasons why constant fault-finding makes one unhappy and what to do about it: 1. Pointing out what bothers you about people only worsens your deep-seated insecurities; The habit of constantly pointing out people’s faults is most likely a reflection of what you’ve struggled with in childhood. It is a manifestation of insecurity about the very things that you judge other people for, most often. Some people who have difficulty taking responsibility for their own actions have a tendency to project onto others that with which they struggle. In fact, the avoidance of responsibility and a difficulty apologizing to people you’ve hurt are the trademarks of the constant fault finder. Solution: There are other ways to conquer your insecurities. Start by pointing out the good in people, including the smallest acts of wit and wisdom. The more you invest in recognizing the greatness (or intelligence) of others, the more this will translate into recognizing your own greatness (and intelligence). 2. Constant fault-finding gives you a temporary ego boost and the illusion of superiority at the moment, but crashes your mood a few seconds later; Not far from the way gossip works, judging another person gives you a rush at the moment, but the rush is soon replaced by unhappiness thereafter. “Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.” Eleanor Roosevelt. Solution: The goal is to stop yourself from verbalizing your negative opinion even if you have the thought. Create a filter that decides which complaints are necessary and which should be left in your mind. It really does come down to the cliche, “If you don’t have something nice to say, keep it to yourself.” 3. Frequent complaints about what other people say or do promote depression; Too much focus on what’s wrong with others can sour your mood in an instant. Depression pulls for either self-devaluation or finding fault with other people or the world as a whole. Solution: While there are many degrees and manifestations of depression, one strategy for climbing out of the darkness is to practice gratitude. Make a list each morning of 5–10 reasons why you are grateful. Continue every morning with this. If you’re committed to this practice, you’ll see a difference and you’ll find yourself judging people less, including people you deem to be unintelligent. By: Sidiqah Uthman @rebirth_2003