VICTIM MENTALITY

Victim mentality is an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize or consider themselves as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case in the face of contrary evidence of such circumstances. Victim mentality depends on clear thought processes and attribution, it is an exaggerated sense of sorrow over one’s own life, roles, or circumstance. We all experience it throughout our lives. Some occasionally, others turn it into a toxic habit. Like any self-defense mechanism, it can ease the pain and make us feel protected. However, the truth is, it causes more damage than the pain it’s trying to alleviate. Victim mentality limits one's ability to achieve anything. We get stuck blaming others and lose control of our acts. Something external takes control of us. It pushes the ‘pause’ button, and we get paralyzed waiting for that same person or event to get us back into motion. But that won’t happen, it's left for you to overcome it. When you play victim, everything looks different, all we see are our problems. We become blind to other people and their issues. We believe that the world revolves around us. The mentality makes us invisible, our attention gets into others. We blame people for how we feel and expect them to be the cure too. When self-pity becomes dominant, we deny responsibility. As William Shakespeare said: “All the world’s a stage. And all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances.” Here are the tips to getting rid of Victim mentality: 1. Stop being at war with reality: Accept reality rather than fight it. Resist self-sabotage by choosing not to live in the illusion of how things should be. When you stop expecting, you start accepting. Become a friend with reality. Be like water and don’t let self-pity get in your way. 2. Stop blaming others: What others do is on them. How you react is on you. No one out there will let you out of your (perceived) misery. Stop waiting for someone to fix your problems. It’s up to you. 3. Open up your eyes You are not the only one suffering. Listen to others, check the news. Get past your champagne problems and acknowledge those who are in worse conditions. Many people keep their heads up and smile in spite of their issues. Helping those who suffer, will put your self-pity to bed. 4. Walk in your victimizer shoes Practice empathy, walking in someone else’s shoes builds understanding and compassion. I’ve learned a lot about the power of empathy working on innovation and change management. Funny enough it helped me let go of the self-pity towards my relationship with my father. 5. Practice gratitude. Victims get blinded by what’s missing and forget to see everything they have. Learn to silence your inner-critic. Appreciate what you have. And, most importantly, value who you are. Be compassionate towards others and yourself. BY: SIDIQAH UTHMAN SOURCE: LIBERATIONIST.ORG