PEER PRESSURE

Peer influence is when you choose to do something you wouldn’t otherwise do, because you want to feel accepted and valued by your friends. It isn’t just or always about doing something against your will. You might hear the term ‘peer pressure’ used a lot. But peer influence is a better way to describe how teenagers’ behaviour is shaped by wanting to feel they belong to a group of friends or peers. Peer pressure and influence can be positive. For example, your child might be influenced to become more assertive, try new activities, or to get more involved with school. But it can be negative too. Some teenagers might choose to try things they normally wouldn’t be interested in, like smoking or behaving in antisocial ways. It’s normal to worry that your child is being influenced too much by his peers, or that he’s selling out on his values (or yours) to fit in with his friends. It’s also normal to worry that your child won’t be able to say no if he gets pressure to try risky things, like wagging school or smoking. But listening to the same music and dressing in the same way as friends doesn’t necessarily add up to your child than doing antisocial or risky things. And if your child is happy with who she is and her choices and values, she’s less likely to be influenced by other people. She might choose to do some things that her friends do, but not others. And your influence is important here – it’s the biggest factor shaping your child’s values and long-term choices. Build up your child’s self-esteem and confidence. Children who have strong self-esteem are better at resisting negative peer pressure and influence. You can build your child’s self-esteem and confidence by encouraging her to try new things that give her a chance of success, and to keep trying even when things are hard. You can also be a role model for confidence too, and show your child how to act confident as the first step towards feeling confident. Praising your child for trying hard is important for building self-esteem and confidence. Keep the lines of communication open. You can do this by staying connected to your child. This can help him feel more comfortable talking to you if he’s feeling swayed to do something he’s uncomfortable with. Suggest ways to say no. Your child might need to have some face-saving ways to say no if she’s feeling influenced to do something she doesn’t want to do. For example, friends might be encouraging her to try smoking. Rather than simply saying ‘No, thanks’, she could say something like, ‘No, it makes my asthma worse’, or ‘No, I don’t like the way it makes me smell' It is worthy of note to know that it is not only children and teenagers who are influenced either negatively or positively by their peers. This could also happen to adults. Most times, we don't want to be left out so we get involved in some things that are not so necessary. Do what is best for you at all cost, do not please people at your own expense. Know when to allow things and also know how to say NO. You derserve peace of mind. By: Oladipo Ayoola Joel @ayoolajoel Source: raisingchildren.net.au