REDEEM ONESELF
Redeem oneself is to succeed or do something good after one has failed or done something bad, they can redeem themselves for yesterday's loss by winning today's game, says Merriam Webster.
Every now and then you may find yourself in a situation where you've done or said something you regret. After this situation, you may feel embarrassed and wish you could take back what happened. Unfortunately, you cannot turn back time and have a 'do-over’. Instead, you can work to make things right and redeem yourself in the eyes of those you’ve wronged. To redeem oneself you must first figure out what you’re redeeming yourself for and what you did to put yourself in a position to need to. Ask yourself this question; what is it about you that caused you to make the decisions that got you there? Once you’ve figured out your part in it, make a list of everyone and every institution you may have harmed, and you become willing to make amends. Do you owe money? An apology? A demonstration of contrition?
Then you make those amends, whatever it may take, if you really want to be redeemed. Your success will depend on that desire. Take every wrong you’ve ever committed, and make good on the debt. That is how you redeem yourself.
These are the several steps to take in redeeming oneself:
1. Overcoming your wrongdoings:
- Determine what you did wrong; Wrongdoing (or betrayal) can include a number of different situations. In general, it means that you’ve broken some sort of agreement (formal or informal) with someone or something.
- Acknowledge your wrongdoings before the other person finds out; You know you’ve betrayed someone, so don’t wait to talk to this person when it is discovered via another means. Waiting for the other person to find out from someone else will only make things a lot worse, and will make a resolution much harder to accomplish.
- Commit yourself to permanent change; Committing any sort of wrong is hard to overcome. It may take the other person a long time to trust you again. You need to help achieve that trust by committing to be different or changing in the future. And once you’ve made that commitment, you need to actually follow through and be different or change.
- Answer the hard questions; The person you wronged will likely ask you a lot of questions about what you did. This person will likely want to know all the details, including why you did it and what you were thinking. Work to answer these questions in an honest way that doesn’t end up blaming others.
2. saying you are sorry/Apologising:
- Ensure your apology includes the three Rs; The three Rs of an apology are regret, responsibility and remedy. Regret means being empathetic and acknowledging that what you did was hurtful. Responsibility means accepting that you made a mistake and that it’s your responsibility to fix it and make amends. Remedy means that you realize you need to make up for your actions.
- Be sincere; One of the biggest aspects of an apology is your sincerity. This comes from the fact that you actually regret what you did and you realize you hurt someone. If you don’t feel sorry for what you did, or you either don’t accept or don’t care that you hurt someone with your actions, your apology will not be sincere.
- Do not use apologies to get what you want. Any and all apologies should be sincere. If you’ve decided to apologize for something because someone else told you you should, or because you realize that an apology will get you something in return, you’ve made the wrong decision. An apology like this will be noticed for its insincerity and will only make you come off worse.
3. Learning from your mistakes:
- Open yourself to new ideas; When you've gained experience at something, or have had time to generate a strong opinion about something, it can be hard to consider other perspectives or opinions. This behavior can make you come across as thinking you’re always right or are too stubborn to listen. Allow yourself to consider other perspectives and options, and don’t assume you’re always right.
- Show yourself compassion; Take a moment to realize that you have value. Realize that you deserve to be cared for and loved. Try to avoid endlessly judging and criticizing yourself for the wrong you have done. Show yourself the same level of compassion that you would show someone else.
- Do not give power to your fears; We often avoid doing things because we’re afraid of the outcome. Unfortunately, it prevents us from doing things that could otherwise benefit us. When you’re considering doing something new, don’t allow the fear of what might happen, prevent you from giving it a try.
- Be your real self; The shame we feel can originate from a number of places, including our childhoods and what we were taught in school and at home. Most of the things that cause us to feel shame were learned subconsciously and as adults, we continue to feel shame about these things because we haven’t been able to acknowledge who we really are.
- Face the realities of your life; Reality can be annoying, difficult, and painful. And because of those annoyances, difficulties, and pain, it can be tempting to pretend these realities don't exist. But it can also be dangerous to pretend these realities don’t exist. Take the chance to face your realities and you will likely find yourself feeling liberated, renewed and energetic.
- Think, don’t overthink; If you have an analytical mind, chances are, you think about everything in your life in a lot of detail. This type of thinking can be useful at times but can be damaging at other times. It is hard to change the way you think, but at the very least, try to recognize when you’re dwelling on something so you can identify its origin. Dwelling can lead to stress and anxiety.
By: Sydiqah Uthman @rebirth_2003
Source: https://www.wikihow.com/Redeem-Yourself
Every now and then you may find yourself in a situation where you've done or said something you regret. After this situation, you may feel embarrassed and wish you could take back what happened. Unfortunately, you cannot turn back time and have a 'do-over’. Instead, you can work to make things right and redeem yourself in the eyes of those you’ve wronged. To redeem oneself you must first figure out what you’re redeeming yourself for and what you did to put yourself in a position to need to. Ask yourself this question; what is it about you that caused you to make the decisions that got you there? Once you’ve figured out your part in it, make a list of everyone and every institution you may have harmed, and you become willing to make amends. Do you owe money? An apology? A demonstration of contrition?
Then you make those amends, whatever it may take, if you really want to be redeemed. Your success will depend on that desire. Take every wrong you’ve ever committed, and make good on the debt. That is how you redeem yourself.
These are the several steps to take in redeeming oneself:
1. Overcoming your wrongdoings:
- Determine what you did wrong; Wrongdoing (or betrayal) can include a number of different situations. In general, it means that you’ve broken some sort of agreement (formal or informal) with someone or something.
- Acknowledge your wrongdoings before the other person finds out; You know you’ve betrayed someone, so don’t wait to talk to this person when it is discovered via another means. Waiting for the other person to find out from someone else will only make things a lot worse, and will make a resolution much harder to accomplish.
- Commit yourself to permanent change; Committing any sort of wrong is hard to overcome. It may take the other person a long time to trust you again. You need to help achieve that trust by committing to be different or changing in the future. And once you’ve made that commitment, you need to actually follow through and be different or change.
- Answer the hard questions; The person you wronged will likely ask you a lot of questions about what you did. This person will likely want to know all the details, including why you did it and what you were thinking. Work to answer these questions in an honest way that doesn’t end up blaming others.
2. saying you are sorry/Apologising:
- Ensure your apology includes the three Rs; The three Rs of an apology are regret, responsibility and remedy. Regret means being empathetic and acknowledging that what you did was hurtful. Responsibility means accepting that you made a mistake and that it’s your responsibility to fix it and make amends. Remedy means that you realize you need to make up for your actions.
- Be sincere; One of the biggest aspects of an apology is your sincerity. This comes from the fact that you actually regret what you did and you realize you hurt someone. If you don’t feel sorry for what you did, or you either don’t accept or don’t care that you hurt someone with your actions, your apology will not be sincere.
- Do not use apologies to get what you want. Any and all apologies should be sincere. If you’ve decided to apologize for something because someone else told you you should, or because you realize that an apology will get you something in return, you’ve made the wrong decision. An apology like this will be noticed for its insincerity and will only make you come off worse.
3. Learning from your mistakes:
- Open yourself to new ideas; When you've gained experience at something, or have had time to generate a strong opinion about something, it can be hard to consider other perspectives or opinions. This behavior can make you come across as thinking you’re always right or are too stubborn to listen. Allow yourself to consider other perspectives and options, and don’t assume you’re always right.
- Show yourself compassion; Take a moment to realize that you have value. Realize that you deserve to be cared for and loved. Try to avoid endlessly judging and criticizing yourself for the wrong you have done. Show yourself the same level of compassion that you would show someone else.
- Do not give power to your fears; We often avoid doing things because we’re afraid of the outcome. Unfortunately, it prevents us from doing things that could otherwise benefit us. When you’re considering doing something new, don’t allow the fear of what might happen, prevent you from giving it a try.
- Be your real self; The shame we feel can originate from a number of places, including our childhoods and what we were taught in school and at home. Most of the things that cause us to feel shame were learned subconsciously and as adults, we continue to feel shame about these things because we haven’t been able to acknowledge who we really are.
- Face the realities of your life; Reality can be annoying, difficult, and painful. And because of those annoyances, difficulties, and pain, it can be tempting to pretend these realities don't exist. But it can also be dangerous to pretend these realities don’t exist. Take the chance to face your realities and you will likely find yourself feeling liberated, renewed and energetic.
- Think, don’t overthink; If you have an analytical mind, chances are, you think about everything in your life in a lot of detail. This type of thinking can be useful at times but can be damaging at other times. It is hard to change the way you think, but at the very least, try to recognize when you’re dwelling on something so you can identify its origin. Dwelling can lead to stress and anxiety.
By: Sydiqah Uthman @rebirth_2003
Source: https://www.wikihow.com/Redeem-Yourself
Comments