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Showing posts from July, 2020

MEMORIES

First of all, our memories are very essential because it teach us very important life lessons that we can use and apply in the future. By having memories, we will know what is right and what is wrong. We can remember where we did our mistakes and learn from it. Time would pass by, responsibilities would build up – that is why memory is very important in our lives. From what we have learned, we can be able to apply it further in life. Famous people and athletes like Michael Jordan will not achieve what he is if he did not learn from his lessons. Michael Jordan was rejected from the basketball varsity team when he was in high school- but look at him now, he is a famous basketball player. We all made mistakes , yet it taught us lessons that are very useful – because of our memories we are able to know what is fair and right to make us a responsible and a better person. Memories are very essential in our lives because they allow us to grow and learn to be a better person. Our recollection...

HOME AND HOUSE

If you have a house, you have a home, that’s what people think. But this is a false statement. A house is nothing but a material thing, something that can protect us from the scorching sun or a terrible storm. People believe that the bigger their house is, the wealthier they are and the happier the home is. A home is totally different. A home is where your true happiness lies, a sacred sanctuary where your role joy resides. The comfort and happiness doesn’t mean that you have a big house, the happiness lies in the family that lives in the house. If you are happy, you are home. Maybe that is the reason why they say “Home is where the heart is”. Have you ever heard of the statement, “The House is where heart is”? It sounds strange, don’t you think? There is a great difference between home and house though you might find them related and interwoven. A house can make you comfortable with the things inside it, while a house not only makes you comfortable, it is a place one looks forward to...

TOXIC PEOPLE (ENERGY VAMPIRES)

Chances are high you’ve encountered a toxic person in your life. You may have even realized this “friend” or family member was no good, but it can often be hard to distinguish between feelings of love and friendship and feelings of guilt and manipulation. Toxic people are really good at purposefully confusing us. In order to detoxify our lives, we first need to be able to understand and spot a toxic person. They look like everyone else, talk like everyone else, and can even be disguised as your best friend, family member, or partner. “Toxic people are master manipulators, skilled liars, and great actors,” says Shannon Thomas, therapist, and general badass survivor, LCSW . “They can be hiding everywhere.” One way to tell you have a toxic person in your life: Every time you encounter or hang out with them, you feel exhausted, emotionally drained, and negative. There’s always something with this person. Irwin describes a toxic person as anyone who is abusive, unsupportive, or unhealthy em...

HOW TO BENEFIT FROM YOUR GIFT

Your Abilities when worked upon, developed and wisely utilised can bring you Wealth beyond what you could ever imagine! "A man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before great men". I once heard a Preacher say that this Scripture does not refer to the gift in its raw State, rather it refers to the refined gift. On this Premise, We can say that there are two categories of gifts; the Raw Gift and the Refined Gift. For instance, you have the natural gift of talking, you could go on lengthy discussions, sharing your perspective on different topics and not get tired. This is an example of a Raw or Unrefined Gift. Then you decide to take up courses/ Master classes, to Polish that talent into a skill that can generate income for you and impact your world. You begin to attend conferences, webinars, study Public speaking, Listen to great Orators and thought leaders that inspire you, etc. What you get at the end of this process is a Refined Gift. Although it is not a Palatable ...

THE STRUGGLE

“A luta continua vitoria é certa” which means “the struggle continues, victory is certain” is slogan commonly used by activists both in the academic and circular settings to communicate displeasure or plight of a particular state or situation in which they are in to the right authority. This displeasure maybe as a result of poor availability of facilities and also facilitators, poor health care system, shortage of water and electricity, etc. in the academic world while in the circular; low salaries, bad facilities, etc. Through the years, notable activists have risen and have led significant breakthroughs in their time. Examples are: Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr, etc. In life, there are lots of ‘struggles’ or better put, challenges. Naturally, things don’t get to work themselves out, humans make them work out. It is said that relationships don’t work themselves out, it is the parties involved that make them work. Isaac Newton’s first law of motion is also call...

PET PEEVES

A peeve is an annoyance, and a pet peeve is an annoyance that’s nurtured like a pet — it's something someone can never resist complaining about. There are all kinds of pet peeves, like littering, misusing punctuation, driving slowly in the fast lane, or talking during movies. If something like that drives you crazy and you have to yap about it, it's a pet peeve. Pet peeves tend to be smaller issues. No one would call terrorism a pet peeve. A pet peeve, pet aversion, or pet hate is a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly irritating to them, to a greater degree than would be expected based on the experience of others. The phrase analogizes that feeling of annoyance as a pet animal that one does not wish to give up, despite its objective lack of importance. Pet peeve is something that a particular person finds especially annoying."one of my biggest pet peeves is poor customer service" Pet peeves often involve specific behaviors of someone close,...

ABUSE

Plautus once asked, "Do you never look at yourself when you abuse another person?" How come abusers never seem to view the abused as themselves? How come we as sympathizers fail to really view from the persepective of the abuser and the abused? Of a truth, abusers acannoot be favoured but then some of them are not mentally normal and have no power over their own mind. What then is abuse? Abuse is the improper usage or treatment of a thing, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit. Abuse expresses exploitation, stronger power, inequality, oppression, enslavement, manipulation, cheating to mention but a few. As a result of this, abuse cannot but bring along with it certain warning signs and symptoms that would have been giving red lights before the real abuse; some of these are anger, anxiety, neglect, shouts, and others. There are various types of abuse, over a hundred actually. But then, those types can still be classified into forms such as physical abuse, emotional...

OPTIMISM

Optimism is the hopefulness and confidence of something or a success; it is a mental attitude reflecting a belief that the outcome of some specific endeavor, or outcomes in general, will be positive, favorable, and desirable. “Optimism doesn't wait on facts. It deals with prospects. Pessimism is a waste of time.” - Norman Cousins. Optimism is looking at the positive aspects of things. It is also a hopeful anticipation that future events will be favorable. Basically, it is seeing and expecting the best in all things. “Optimism is a mindset that enables people to view the world, other people and events in the most favorable, positive light possible. Some people describe this as the ‘half glass full’ mentality, (a case where a pessimist sees it as half empty, not half full),” says Dr. Aparna Iyer, “Optimists do acknowledge negative events, but they are more likely to avoid blaming themselves for the bad outcome, inclined to view the situation as a temporary one and likely to expect fu...

BRAND BUILDING

Branding, by definition, is a marketing practice in which a company creates a name, symbol or design that is easily identifiable as belonging to the company. This helps to identify a product and distinguish it from other products and services. Branding is important because not only is it what makes a memorable impression on consumers but it allows your customers and clients to know what to expect from your company. It is a way of distinguishing yourself from the competitors and clarifying what it is you offer that makes you the better choice. Your brand is built to be a true representation of who you are as a business, and how you wish to be perceived. Brand building is the process of generating awareness and promotion of the services of a company through direct advertising campaigns or through sponsorship. Brand building strategies bring consumers closer to the brand and provide value for them so that they can know, feel and experience the brand. There are many areas that are used to...

CREATIVITY

The various misconception of creativity has occupied our minds; the thought that creativity has to do only with things we do with our hands ranging from drawing, making objects out of clay, and all other hand work/craft. By this misconception we forget the fact that creativity is the act of turning new and imaginative ideas into reality. "Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun", Said Mary Lou Cook. Creativity is characterized by the ability to perceive the world in new ways, to find hidden patterns, to make connections between seemingly unrelated phenomena, and to generate solutions. Creativity works in two ways: intangible (such as an idea, a scientific theory, a musical composition, or a joke) or a physical object (such as an invention, a printed literary work, or a painting). Creativity involves two processes: thinking, then producing. If you have ideas but don’t act on them, you are imaginative but...

LEND YOUR VOICE

Many people got an escape from a trap and decided to keep quiet about it. They came out of a pit only for them to keep calm, never mentioning it to others who could benefit from their experience. Gone are the days when we fold our arms and watch history repeat itself over and over again, whereas many failures can be prevented from reoccurring. The fact that you got out of that mess or got healed of that wound is enough proof that you should stand up for the salvation of others. The Wins you've had, losses encountered and the mistakes you made when shared, can help others in their Life's Journey. You could inspire, encourage, enlighten or correct these people just by sharing your experience(s). You can save a life or help improve someone's living pattern by lending your voice. Perhaps you were made to go through that journey so you can shine light for individuals who would someday tread the same path. This is what motivates my writings many times. I want people to learn fr...

ANXIETY

Anxiety is a normal and often healthy emotion. However, when a person regularly feels disproportionate levels of anxiety, it might become a medical dsorder. Anxiety disorder forms a category of mental health diagnoses that leads to excessive nervousness, fear, apprehension and worry These disorders alters how a person processes emotions and behave, also causing physical symptos. Mild anxiety might bevague and unsettling while severe anxiety may seriously affect day to day living. Anxiety is an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physoical changes like increased blood pressure. Knowing the difference between normal feelings of anxiety and an anxiety disorder requiring medical attention can help a person identify and treat the condition better. So now, when does anxiety need treatment? Anxiety can definitely cause distress but it is not always a medical condition. When an individual faces potentially harmful or worrying triggers, feelings of anxiety are not...

MOTIVATION

Motivation is the process that initiates, guides, and maintains goal-oriented behaviors. It is what causes you to act, whether it is getting a glass of water to reduce thirst or reading a book to gain knowledge. Motivation involves the biological, emotional, social, and cognitive forces that activate behavior, the way you think and feel about yourself, including your beliefs and expectations about what is possible for you, determines everything that happens to you. When you change the quality of your thinking, you change the quality of your life, sometimes instantly. Just as positive words can make someone smile, our thoughts react to the world in real time. You have complete control over only one thing in the universe — your thinking. You can decide what you are going to think in any given situation. Your thoughts and feelings determine your actions and determine the results you get. It all starts with your thoughts. There are four different types of motivation that can impel peopl...

DIG DEEP

Self discovery is the first step to living a meaningful and fulfilled life. There is more to you than meet the eye; there is more to you than you currently know. You have so many untapped potentials in you waiting to be unleashed! Do not live your life based on assumption which is the lowest form of knowledge, seek to know you. Dig deep to find out what you have and what you can do to become a better person each day. Sit down, have a meeting with yourself, take some time to ask yourself probing questions and be sincere. You'd be amazed at the things you find out about yourself! To maximize your stay on this earth, you need to be self aware; discover yourself! You can't afford to live life as it comes. Be intentional and search inwards, until you do so, you may never be able to bring out the latent wealth that's hidden on your inside. When you are aware of what you have, then you'll be ready to use it for your improvement. Take time to engage in self discovery th...

SITUATIONSHIP

A situationship is a romantic relationship that's undefined or uncommitted. It may be based on convenience or short-term circumstances. That doesn't mean a situationship can't have some or even all the trappings of a regular relationship, including an emotional connection.Most situationships involve some form of physical intimacy, but they’re generally more than a casual sexual encounter. Unlike friends with benefits, where both parties agree to avoid developing feelings, the boundaries of a situationship are usually less clear. One or both partners might be waiting to see if the relationship becomes more serious over time. Not everyone agrees on what defines a situationship, but the following are just a few signs that you might be in one: - You haven’t defined the relationship. You might be in a situationship if you haven’t put a label on your relationship. Perhaps you’re just hanging out or taking things slow. Maybe it’s too soon to have a talk about where you’re headed...

VOLUNTEERING

“What is the essence of life? To serve others and to do good”, spoken by Greek philosopher Aristotle over 2300 years ago as one of the most ancient quotes about volunteering offers proof that giving back to the community is hardly a new concept, it has been in existence for quite a long time and is increasingly becoming really important and necessary in our world of today. Volunteering has gone way farther than we thought it will ever go. According to Wikipedia, volunteering is considered as an activity where an individual or a group freely gives time to benefit another person, group or organization. Volunteering now is popular for skill development and has proven to promote goodness and improve human quality of life. Volunteering has many benefits embedded in it aside monetary benefits; it makes contacts for intended employment, makes on trained in various areas which is of added advantage to one's personality and society. There are various types of volunteering, some of which...

HYPOCHONDRIA

Hypochondria is a condition in which a person is excessively and unduly worried about having a serious illness. It is an illness anxiety disorder, also called health anxiety, it's worrying excessively that you are or may become seriously ill. You may have no physical symptoms, or you may believe that normal body sensations or minor symptoms are signs of severe illness, even though a thorough medical exam doesn't reveal a serious medical condition. Headache, it must be a brain tumor. Bruise on your leg? Leukemia. Slightly nauseous? Either cancer or a heart attack. Welcome to the life of a hypochondriac, the conviction that one is ill, despite all evidence to the contrary. Hypochondria is more than an active imagination -- it is a real anxiety disorder - By R. Morgan Griffin. People who suffer from hypochondria make frequent doctors' appointments, insist on unnecessary tests, and see physical illness where medicine says there is none. They fret needlessly over diseases that ...

TOLERANCE

We hear a lot about tolerance these days. Tolerance is a moral virtue best placed within the moral domain – but unfortunately it is often confounded with prejudice. Much of the psychological research about tolerance generally and about the development of children’s understanding of tolerance of others who are different from them has been examined through research about prejudice – and not through the moral domain. The assumption made is that absence of prejudice by default means a person is tolerant. Prejudice and tolerance are actually theoretically different concepts – and not the opposite of each other. In fact, they coexist in most of us.Tolerance is difficult to define, which may have led to limiting the study of tolerance in psychology in favour of studying prejudice. But, unlike prejudice, tolerance can be grounded in the moral domain which offers a positive approach to examining relationships between groups of people who are different from each other. Based on its Latin origin,...

LEADERSHIP

It is easier to say, “Readers are Leaders”, I’d rather go with “Leaders are Readers” and I could even add, “Thinkers are Leaders” or “doers are Leaders” unfortunately, not all that “do” eventually are worthy of emulation. There is a school of thought, “do as I say, don’t do as I do”. The cliché is most times used by the supposed “leaders” at any level in the society. This shows how misappropriated the word “leader” is in our today’s world. It is worthy of note that at some points in our day to day lives, most of us, in some way, assume some leadership posts. “Political leaders” are not the only kind of leaders there are in society. For instance, the family, typically, is the smallest unit of the society and it; basically, consist of the father, mother, and the children where the father assumes the leader; followed by the mother who is also a leader and even amongst the children, there are leaders. Therefore, defining the word, “leadership”, it is the ability to take up responsibility...

CONTENTMENT

"When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you". – Lao Tzu. Contentment is a state of mind that has nothing to do with money, objects, or other people. Nor does it concern itself with how much we have, or how little. Contentment is an emotional state of satisfaction that can be seen as a mental state, maybe drawn from being at ease in one's situation, body, and mind. Humans are not designed to be happy, or even content. Instead, we are designed primarily to survive and reproduce, like every other creature in the natural world. A state of contentment is discouraged by nature because it would lower our guard against possible threats to our survival. Life is too short to ignore the positive things in your life and focusing on what could have been. Been contented means living to the fullest the good of every passing moment. Without contentment, we can never find peace. But complacency is a different matter. If you strive for contentment ...

PURPOSE MATTERS

Do you know that your gift(s), passion and purpose are interconnected? Yes, they are! Your Gift refers to your talent or abilities. Your Passion is referred to as a strong fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for something. While your Purpose is the reason for your existence. Finding your purpose requires that you first identify your gifts or unique abilities. Having the knowledge of your gifts is needful, because they serve as important pointers to your calling. Someone who has been designed to be a teacher would have an amazing ability to teach and be well understood. A person designed to be a singer will be found to have a beautiful singing gift. An individual created to be an advocate would be outspoken and have zero tolerance for injustice. Knowing the areas you're gifted in makes purpose discovery easier. However, gift identification is not all there is to finding your Purpose. The next is Passion identification. Yes, You must also identify your passion! Passion s...

FOCUS

Being focused on one thing for a certain period allows you to a better quality of work, more work gets done quicker and your creative ideas flow easier. Being focused on one task at a time is less stressful on your mind, and being less stressed allows you to be happier. Being focused means that you have clear goals and objectives and your work is dedicated to achieving goals and objectives. Being focused in the present moment means that you are solely focused on the one activity that you are trying to complete. Anything else is unimportant so you shut out all distractions and give your full and undivided attention to the task at hand. In a world where we are constantly bombarded with tv, radio, cell phones, social media, the internet, as well as a much larger population that lives closer together than before, it becomes difficult for one to remain focused on a task. With so many people trying to get our attention, it is more and more important that we learn to shut it all out and get ...

REDEEM ONESELF

Redeem oneself is to succeed or do something good after one has failed or done something bad, they can redeem themselves for yesterday's loss by winning today's game, says Merriam Webster. Every now and then you may find yourself in a situation where you've done or said something you regret. After this situation, you may feel embarrassed and wish you could take back what happened. Unfortunately, you cannot turn back time and have a 'do-over’. Instead, you can work to make things right and redeem yourself in the eyes of those you’ve wronged. To redeem oneself you must first figure out what you’re redeeming yourself for and what you did to put yourself in a position to need to. Ask yourself this question; what is it about you that caused you to make the decisions that got you there? Once you’ve figured out your part in it, make a list of everyone and every institution you may have harmed, and you become willing to make amends. Do you owe money? An apology? A demonstratio...

POSITIVE VIBES ONLY (PVO)

Vibes is short for vibrations. In life it is commonplace to experience sometimes we just shy from a stranger and contrarily one may have pleasant feelings when seeing a stranger. The later is said to have positive vibes. The vibe is the feeling that someone or something gives you. Vibes are the emotional signals a person gives out to those around them with their body language and social interactions. An example of good vibes is a happy person smiling and having a positive effect on those around them. So, positive vibes mean the positive feelings that you get from someone or something. A person should be always concerned about positive vibes of something, while the negative side gives you nothing in turn. Be optimistic. A positive vibe means you are at a place where you are thinking positive thoughts and that is your point of attraction. It is actually a normal thing to feel low, no motivation or any sort from anyone or anything but you have to forge ahead and make thins work for you...

DESPERATION

We experience a lot of different thoughts, feelings, and emotions in the midst of a depressive episode. Depression makes us feel bad about ourselves, worthless, and probably ugly. DEpression makes us view things unrealistically like nothing good ever happens like we don't deserve happiness in our lives. Desperation makes us feel emotions that we don't deserve to feel, extreme sadness, anxiety, and hopelessness. But one intense feeling that depression causes us to feel, that we don't often have the words to explain is desperation. These situations all leave us feeling desperate and when one or more of them occur simultaneously, it becomes overwhelming and our feeling of desperation grows. Desperation is the feeling that a situation is so bad that no matter what you do, it will never get better. Desperation is an expert at making us feel like we are in such bad shape that we cant be fixed. Depression is good at convincing us that there is no help available to us and leaves u...

GUT FEELING

Gut instinct, or intuition, is your immediate understanding of something; there’s no need to think it over or get another opinion, you just know. Your intuition arises, a feeling within your body that only you experience. Because the feeling is so personal, no one else can tell if you’re in touch with your gut instinct or not. According to research, we are equipped with a second brain in the area of our stomach. When one is experiencing stress, fear, the gut reacts with constipation, pain. When we feel anxious, excited, at times we describe it as ''butterflies in the stomach." The second brain informs our state of mind in other ways, as well. "A big part of our emotions are probably influenced by the nerves in our gut," Emeran Mayer says. A deeper understanding of this second brain, reveals that it does much more than merely handle digestion, the little brain in our innards, in connection with the big one in our skulls, partly determines our mental state and pl...

A DIFFERENT VIEW TO FAILURE

In life, Perspective is everything. How you handle a victory or a loss depends on how you see it (perspective). No man rises from Failure when he thinks that is the end of the world. Some time ago, I decided to travel to Abeokuta (a City in Nigeria) via a route different from the one I've been used to. And it didn't really turn out to be as good l as I had thought. I felt bad and was almost regretting that I took a new route. But I immediately cautioned and said to myself; "Folakemi, it is the method that failed, not you!" "You have just learnt one of the ways through which you shouldn't travel to Abeokuta". I intentionally snapped out of feeling like a failure... I did not hesitate at all! I didn't allow the negative feeling to get hold of me and that gave me the deliverance I needed! I'll advise every individual who at one point or another failed, not to get hooked with this kind of feeling; Do not overwhelm yourself with the ...

I NEED YOU

Aristotle the legendary Greek philosopher said, “Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human. Society precedes the individual.” As humans, we need ourselves, man cannot live in isolation. He must satisfy certain natural basic needs in order to survive. He has to enter into relationships with his fellowmen for living a life. It is said that no man can break the shackles of dependence. This begins perhaps between the embryo may be more physical than mental, but the mother’s need is the other way round. Sociology has taken it upon itself to study human beings in societies and to provide some solutions to some problems facing social relationships among men. In essence, as humans, we need ourselves. There is a trusted fact, “no man is an island.” There is this need in us that can’t be satisfied without others. Think about having all the money in the world without someone else to exc...

REACH

Reach out to that thing you want to reach you. Extend as far as you can to get what you really want. You refuse to reach out to it out of your act of laziness, procrastination, non-nonchalance and you still believe within yourself that you can get what you want. In case you have forgotten let me remind you that you can never reach the beautiful unless you strive for it. You have a list of your goals, a list of things you really want to become, you have even set a time frame for each, yet you are doing nothing about it. Getting a list of your goals is good but it definitely isn't enough. There are other things to be done to make your imaginations a reality. For a start, pen down your goals, set a deadline, work on your mindset. Do not forget to develop your skillset. Take the first set. Continue to completion. Finally, reward yourself. The rewarding part might sound awkward but it is really necessary; the reward is good in giving you a push for a further move. In the real sense, t...